We’ve hit a snafu of sorts in our quest to become mothers. After 6 solid months of trying various at home and intra-cervical methods we’ve not been successful as of yet. Our doctor friend suggested it was time to see an infertility specialist. At first that was a blow to the gut realizing that not only were we not pregnant again, but that we had exhausted all of our efforts at this point and we felt that we had failed at our quest.
How much do we really want to bring a child in to our world? What were our options? Could we continue to go through this as a couple emotionally, physically, financially? How does our donor feel about continuing to provide his special sauce to us? As many of the readers may know already – it’s work to become pregnant, even for a straight couple. It’s down right amazing to me that we even procreate to begin with, let alone with the help of modern science. But after a few days of digesting this news we both decided that we would go at least see what this infertility clinic could do for us – we didn’t just want to assume that building our family in this way was out of reach for us since we’ve heard how expensive it can be – it is too soon to give up. Children are expensive, life is expensive – life long commitment and a financial commitment up front is nothing compared to sharing our life with a little person.
Our first visit to the New Hope Center was on July 11. After a total of four and a half hours at the clinic we came out exhausted but filled with hope….(as I type that I giggle that the New Hope Center gave us hope). We discovered that at a minimum my wife needs to have six (6) fibroids and two (2) polyps removed for her to even be inseminated. No wonder we haven’t been successful in our efforts thus far! Literally everything else looks perfect for planting a little baby seed in the wife’s garden once those bad boys come out. The hysterosalpingogram (HSG test), or as my wife likes to refer to it – the sword fight in my vagina – showed that her tubes and uterus were open for business. Her labs look amazing (she’s a super healthy 41 year old). And her ovarian reserves are stocked full.
Initially, another blow…surgery is no fun either way you look at it. Both of us understanding the implication of surgery and all of its fun times made us take another hard look at this process and our future. Neither of us wanted her to go through a procedure that could be painful or could have her recovering for a period of time. Again, is this all worth it? Are we doing the right thing? Are there too many bumps presenting themselves in this adventure of building our family? Have we hit the stopping point?
Our process unfolded and regardless of the pregnancy outcome – my wife will have the fibroids and polyps removed. Wishing to maintain her lady parts as long as possible, it is the best viable option to have these blood suckers removed. And interestingly enough, we now know were those little side pains have been coming from all these years. Who knew? Going in to the operating room with the intention of preparing the uterus for implantation will likely give us a better chance that to have gone in with the intention of removing such growths due to pain or heavy menstrual cycles. Keeping the uterus and ovaries intact versus potentially removing it all under these conditions made the decision easier to make.
How about our donor, you ask? Well, the time table has increased due to testing his special sauce – a freezing and storing process to then unfreeze and retest again in six months. And? He’s in. He’s committed just as we are. That’s why we chose him to be our donor – because we want more than a donor, we want a village that wants to keep the well-being of this little person at the highest of highest priorities. Conveniently my wife’s uterus needs to heal 3-6 months post surgery, so the time table cancels itself out.
The next step on our adventure takes us until January when we can try to build our family again.