Baby Making

Cleaning out the oven

The oven has been cleaned out for the hopeful arrival of a little person.  My wife’s uterus has been buffed, waxed, stitched and covered with a blanket all in preparation for successful implantation…or at least so we’ve been told.  This of course eliminates the possibility of having a vaginal birth should we be successful in our quest to be pregnant.  We’ll post our thoughts on that in a later posting.  The ultrasound to investigate her insides will be scheduled soon just to be sure we’re ready to proceed.  More on that in a bit.

Approximately 12 weeks ago we stepped in to the only hospital in the area that has the da Vinci robot, our (and our doc’s) chosen method for removal.  This supposedly left my wife with less abdominal trauma and supposedly gave her a faster recovery time versus cutting her wide open.  While this may be true in theory, let me tell you how horrible she felt for the first week!  It was quite possibly the hardest thing to watch my partner go through so much pain and to feel so helpless when all I could do was rub her head and help lift her up and down from the bed, toilet, chairs, tub, stairs.  Your abdominal muscles basically do EVERYTHING, if you don’t believe me then have a MMA match in your gut for four hours and you soon will.  Over the past three months she’s had to relearn movement patterns that we take for granted – sitting, getting out bed, coughing, pooping (yes, even that!), and don’t even thing of putting a barbell on your back.  It’s been three months of steady patience, mindful movement and some frustration.

From an outsider’s perspective, I believe she has healed quite well.  She is really in her body, a term we yogis use when a person is in touch with their body and movement patterns.  She understands how to take good care of herself and is a strong athlete.  She also is human, and when you’re someone that is used to moving often (she’s a massage therapist, yogi, personal trainer) it can be a challenge to remind yourself to slow the fuck down and rest.  She wrote a post on her blog about her experience.

We think she’s fully recovered, however the ultrasound is the confirmation that we can proceed with knocking her up.  We’ve resisted scheduling the ultrasound with The New Hope Center because there are times that we have felt bullied in to proceeding down the track without much time to take a full breath in between train stops.  They run quite a lucrative practice, which is evident as you are greeted with quite an intense waterfall at the reception desk.  At times we have felt less like people but more like their bottom line.  We’ve felt they can be quite condescending and unprofessional, forgetting that we are THEIR customers and patients, not the other way around.  They are, of course, the monopoly on infertility with only one other clinic locally making it a challenge to go anywhere else, especially once established.  So, we’ll finish this recovery process with them, but do not want to allow ourselves to be pushed in to the insemination process before we are ready.  We understand that some patients are so caught in the crossfire that they need their hands held through the entire process, we are NOT those patients and nor do we want to be taken advantage of – as it seems that the New Hope Center is capable of doing.

Our plan as of right now is to try a few at home inseminations with our donor.  It’s live sperm, not frozen.  It’s a lot less medical in its delivery eliminating the potential complication of a traumatic insemination (we are yogis after all – we want the best possible outcome for this wanted child, so if we can control any aspect we will do our best to make it the most peaceful knocking up we can).  And it’s pretty cost effective…free!  After a few tries, then we’ll go back to The New Hope Center or change everything over to the other clinic for inseminations with the frozen sperm.  I’m hoping that we can be successful with the at home methods.

First thing: get the ultrasound.