Internal Thoughts

My old is showing

Cycle 1 Day 16 (February 12th)

Ya know, I really am learning a whole bunch about myself – my incredibly steadfast, authentic, boundless, unfailing relationship with my wife – the amazingly supportive village of humans that we have surrounding us, and about the female body – my female body.

After doing the IUI on Saturday, I had to go back on Monday the 9th to be sure my hormone levels are optimal to hold an embryo up in there.  We go – I have another ultrasound (my lining is thickening which means the egg released – and the swimmers have a buoy to aim for- check)…I give more blood to get the levels and now it’s time to start shooting progesterone up into my vag every morning.  Apparently this promotes embryo implantation, basically it’s the glue that holds the baby in after implantation. February 20th is the next time I expect to have to go back in for the pregnancy test…but…no…

I then get a call that night from Dr. Robin’s nurse, Kelly, that my estrogen levels were too low and I need to go get a prescription filled right away for Estradiol 3 times a day (that is a lot, by the way…even the pharmacist was legally bound to warn me that it was a lot!) Thank that little baby Ganesha again!  I had already taken the day off from appointments and teaching just in case it was going to IUI day, so I had the time that evening to rush over to Walgreens.

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Estrogen is used to keep the uterine lining thick. This gives the embryo the best chance of implanting and I’m an old lady in baby making terms and it is showing…

So, now I’m nauseous, dizzy, irritable, impatient, and exhausted with all of this shit in my body.  I go back tomorrow for yet another blood letting to check my levels again.  We are hopeful.  We are sad.  We are hopeful.  We are disappointed.  We are hopeful.  I am weary.

Through all of this though, I feel confident that we made the right choice to share this journey in all of its raw honesty.  We are surrounded by so many awesome humans who lift us up, remind us of our own delicate humanness and that we are loved so damn hard and we want you all to know that we truly believe that we are One – One through a thread of Love connecting us all during this bodily experience. How can we possibly do this alone?  We are here for you- thanks for being here for us!

Namaste, motherfuckers! ❤

Namaste Strong,



7 thoughts on “My old is showing”

  1. Good job explaining this stuff. I had no idea the protocol was so complicated and all-consuming. This shit is not for the weak! Keep it going ladies!


    1. Thanks Diana! This is one of the main reasons we decided to make this blog public. There’s a lot that goes on – emotionally, physically, financially, medically…….etc etc etc.


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