Internal Thoughts

The saga of the Vag

Lisa, here – the science experiment – having been poked in ass and in each arm multiple times, pumped full of pills, prodded in the vag over and over…and doing my best to “just fucking relax…”

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It started on Day 5 of this first cycle when I had to come in for my first ultrasound since surgery for my lining to be measured and my ovaries to be perused.  I was told it was time to take the Femara and try to get some follicles to grow and pray that they hold an egg or two.  We are also instructed to order the HCG trigger shot and Progesterone vag suppository from a pharmacy in California.  **without any indication of how much it was going to cost us – $300!!!!! ***  (This failure in transparency about these types of things was brought up in our private appointment with the office manager along with the query in the paragraph below.  Yes, we did request a meeting after that email that we wrote!)  Then, on Friday February 6th I needed to go back again, have another ultrasound and blood draw to see if I made and dropped an egg and if my hormones were at optimal levels. How did we miss the words in the previous appointments that it was possible for me to have follicles grow and yet not have an egg?!? I did though – thank the little baby Ganesha!  Because I was in tears on the drive over thinking, “what if after all of this time and money and surgery that I don’t even drop an egg?!”

Our wonderful, nurse practitioner, Kat, just started excitedly unloading all of the upcoming way points we had to hit in a very specific order and with very sensitive timing.  Thank that little baby Ganesha again that my ever vigilant and grounded wife had our trusty calendar to take notes of every little thing – even my blood pressure and how much better I am getting each time at the blood draws with Patricia (I call her my favorite vampire.)


And then…dun, dun, dun…we had a question that had been nagging at me for awhile. “Why was it that if a heterosexual married couple came in for care using the husband’s sperm (him being then the known donor) the husband would not have had to give and then paid for a sample to be washed, tested, frozen and quarantined for 6 months before it could be used, but we did?”  Walter is a known donor.  Walter had himself tested for HIV etc.  We wanted answers as to why we couldn’t use a live sample from our known donor in the same way any other couple would?  Why was our known donor being treated like an unknown donor?  And why did we have to pay for it all like we are using an unknown donor.

Kat was again wonderfully responsive and said, “that is a great question!  Let me see what I can find out.”  She was gone for quite awhile and came back saying they were waiting to hear back from the head of embryology at the University of Chicago about our question.  I. Was. Hot!  How is this not been a situation to be aware of and addressed?  How is that we walked in that first day like deer in the headlights only to have Dr. Robin just wave her hands and say in her pity voice that we needed to realize that it was going to be a 6 month wait and $ and $ and $.

We did get a call that night from Kat to say that we could use a live sample as long Walter had the full panel of labs done before the IUI – of course LabCorp screwed up his last blood draw and he didn’t get fully tested, so we couldn’t use it this time around.  We would be required to sign a bunch of waivers etc – BUT y’all better believe that when the bill comes, I will have something to say about having to pay for that quarantine for 6 months (curiously, we haven’t received a bill yet…..)


The other part of Kat’s call was to tell me to get Anne-Marie to immediately shoot me in the ass with the HCG trigger shot to make the egg get its shit together and fully mature, so that first thing Saturday morning February 7th, I could receive the IUI (here’s a video of what the romantic procedure actually is), so I had to move some clients around, wait for Fed-ex to drop off my drugs, and drop my drawers.

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…to be continued

Namaste Strong,



2 thoughts on “The saga of the Vag”

  1. The known donor BS is widespread – not confined to your clinic, for sure. And the general rule about 6 mos quarantine and banking is also standard, although I personally see it as a sexist move. That said, we went a less ‘honest’ route and just let assumptions get made without ever being clear about who was related to who and how, and we got to use our donor that way. I don’t necessarily recommend it, but it’s an option as well.


    1. This is definitely the first time we encountered it – well, after we took our blinders off and decided to ask the question. I can see the liability reasons (we are in such a litigious society in the states), but why not even have that option made available? All we’d have to do is say no, right? Too bad the clinic already knows our relationships….

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